Its getting harder to see, harder to leave, when my legs have been broken
Its getting harder to breathe, harder to bleed, when my heart's been broken.
That's a chorus to a song that hit me last week, the first time words actually came to me before the music did! I spent some time recording it, so far, I'm pretty pleased with the direction it is taking!
Anyway, so I took off for a few days up to Richmond to visit my dad, help out around the house, and thoroughly abuse his musical equipment haha. It was nice to spend some time with him, even though I had a lot going on with me emotionally there; stuff that I don't think I really worked through today until I expressed it through some music.
While I was there I helped him clean out his gutters, which required climbing eh approx 25 foot ladder, atleast I'm thinking it had to be that high, essentially three stories. At first I was soo nervous, shaky legged, praying the entire time I was climbing up! However, i realize a truth about me, and about many people while I was up there....
1) I am typically uncomfortable with new experiences; but I tend to adapt and get comfortable quickly; at times too quickly (for those that disagree with me, I'm sure you do, correct me if I am wrong!). Whether I'm running a bull dozer, excavator, or a new job, whatever, I get comfortable too quickly. In one sense it's a good thing because I think God can really use me with my ability to be flexible, yet, I didn't pray the 3rd time I climbed that ladder.
2)When scared, we pray to God, but once comfortable we rely on our previous experiences, or trust in the ladder we just climbed. Wow. I want to be someone that prays to God for protection every time! Because I need him every time! i never want to take for granted his protection and his guiding hand in my life. So I challenge you to not trust what you are comfortable with, or your past experiences, but give everything to God, let him be the one that provides and takes care of you.
My buddy Josh wrote a book called God Attachment, check it out, its being published and released in August. I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty certain that it would discuss similar instances, where we try to deny our attachment to God.
I also realized that God, he listens to my prayers! So many prayers are beginning to show fruit and I tell you, it's amazing! Tonight I pray that God continues to refine my heart to be the man that he has called me to be, so I can make myself suitable for his blessings. I am no good on my own; I'm broken, fallen, and so self absorbed. But with him I become a thriving human being that just soaks in his love daily, which allows me to pour into sooo many other people.
Tonight I got back and did some more work around Josh's, got roped into having dinner with him and his wife, and two of her friends. Hearing all the talk I just really feel that God is grooming me for something really amazing. I don't know exactly what it is, but I do know this, when God sees I am ready and armed, he's gonna launch me!
God Bless and remember, he hears our prayers, he may not answer them as fast as we would like, but he hears us and knows our hearts!
It's a good day to believe in something bigger than me :)
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