Lately I have been having a pretty difficult time with my spiritual walk; it has been pretty easy to say well "it's because I haven't made enough time for God", or "maybe this or that is distracting me from him"; all of which honestly I think could be perfectly valid reasons. However, God certainly has an interesting way of showing us what we need to hear, what we don't want to hear.
For me this distance has been caused by a lack of forgiveness in my heart. It's funny because I have been praying and seeking to give forgiveness for a while now. Often times our eagerness hits the battlefield before we are equipped, or even prepared to yield our sword when it comes to time of action, battle. I think I sat back on my knees praying for God to defeat my enemies for me- battles were not won without action, men had to step out in faith and fight for what they believed in with the conviction of God inside motivating them. Conviction for forgiveness isn't enough.
I find myself at a crossroads; where obviously our human nature LOVES holding on to hurt and anger, it fortifies us, makes us stronger, impenetrable, while offering forgiveness makes us very vulnerable, and some perceive it as a weakness. I spent quite a bit of time tonight praying that God remove those feelings from me, give me the desire and strength to forgive, because ultimately, its only keeping me from feeling God's love in my heart, and I HATE IT!
Genesis chapter 33 tells about the reunion between Jacob and Esau. Earlier Jacob had tricked their father Isaac into giving him Esau's birthright. Jacob then flees for his life because Esau has made a verbal commitment that he is going to seek Jacob and kill him! Who wouldn't feel this way?
Jacob begins to feel remorse for robbing his brother of what was suppose to be his; makes things right with God and gets his life back on track. Granted, Jacob got robbed of some things too, where he had to work 14 years to marry Rebecca, because he was tricked the first 7 years.
When Jacob realizes that he is about to meet his brother again, years later, he sends all sorts of animals ahead, almost as a peace offering, asking for his forgiveness. Esau, when he sees his brother, embraces him with love and forgiveness, doesn't even want to accept the peace offering that Jacob had sent before him. WOW. I know people have hurt me before, but here are two men that were able to forgive, embrace, show respect, and move on. When we forgive people, don't just say it, show it. The only true thing that separates Christians from non-believes is our ability to FORGIVE, because God forgives us. He has forgiven me for far worse things than anyone has ever done to me, so why should I hold back and not forgive someone else?
Forgiveness is not optional; its commanded by us through the blood of Christ that we so humbly accept. To not forgive, is to not accept the sacrifice that Christ made for us. I'm not saying that forgiveness is an easy thing that can happen in the matter of minutes; but a Christian heart is about action, about forgiving, about seeking to show others the love of Christ no matter what trespasses they have committed against us. Don't let your fallen nature keep you from experiencing God's love, because a hardened heart will only harvest famine. I don't know about you, but I was created to eat more than the dust of this earth, but to have life abundantly.
In short.
Forgive; so you can LIVE.
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