Many times we find ourselves in frustrating situations; when things just could not seem to wrong at a less opportune time. We have all experienced it; lost a job around Christmas, misplaced our keys before having to arrive at an important meeting, had something get lost in the mail...
Our interpretation of those experiences says a lot about the way we view life and shapes our thinking. When we can recognize that everything happens for a reason, for a purpose designed by God, it allows us to bring everything into perspective. It's pretty tough to maintain that perspective, or let alone venture outside of our selfish minded ways, to think "Oh yeah God, I lost my job today for a reason...." (Most of us at this point are ready to start throwing things and cursing God).
I have many examples where God has intervened in some ways that proved costly to me, but obviously not nearly to the cost in which I would have had to pay if he hadn't!
I took my car to Harris Tire the other day before leaving for the beach to get that tire replaced that got wacked by the piece of lumber on the expressway. Well to my surprise, turns out that tire, as well as 2 others one, were no good! Yeah, on the inside of each tire they were worn passed the secondary rubber and had steel showing. Basically, those tires were at a very high potential of blowing, not flat, but blowing.
Immediately I thought to myself "Wow, God allowed a tire of mine to be damaged on the outside so I would have to look at the inside, and brought my attention to something that really could have caused me harm". God does that, he allows things in our lives to come to force us to inspect our lives from the inside out, most everything that happens is symptomatic of an issue with the Christian Heart.
When something seems to be testing you, or frustrating you, appearing as an inconvenience, or accident, perhaps it's God's way of saving you from disaster. Don't neglect those warnings, see them as blessings in disguise; because as awesome as God is, he can't disguise those blessings for long!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Forgiveness; No One Said It Came Easily
Lately I have been having a pretty difficult time with my spiritual walk; it has been pretty easy to say well "it's because I haven't made enough time for God", or "maybe this or that is distracting me from him"; all of which honestly I think could be perfectly valid reasons. However, God certainly has an interesting way of showing us what we need to hear, what we don't want to hear.
For me this distance has been caused by a lack of forgiveness in my heart. It's funny because I have been praying and seeking to give forgiveness for a while now. Often times our eagerness hits the battlefield before we are equipped, or even prepared to yield our sword when it comes to time of action, battle. I think I sat back on my knees praying for God to defeat my enemies for me- battles were not won without action, men had to step out in faith and fight for what they believed in with the conviction of God inside motivating them. Conviction for forgiveness isn't enough.
I find myself at a crossroads; where obviously our human nature LOVES holding on to hurt and anger, it fortifies us, makes us stronger, impenetrable, while offering forgiveness makes us very vulnerable, and some perceive it as a weakness. I spent quite a bit of time tonight praying that God remove those feelings from me, give me the desire and strength to forgive, because ultimately, its only keeping me from feeling God's love in my heart, and I HATE IT!
Genesis chapter 33 tells about the reunion between Jacob and Esau. Earlier Jacob had tricked their father Isaac into giving him Esau's birthright. Jacob then flees for his life because Esau has made a verbal commitment that he is going to seek Jacob and kill him! Who wouldn't feel this way?
Jacob begins to feel remorse for robbing his brother of what was suppose to be his; makes things right with God and gets his life back on track. Granted, Jacob got robbed of some things too, where he had to work 14 years to marry Rebecca, because he was tricked the first 7 years.
When Jacob realizes that he is about to meet his brother again, years later, he sends all sorts of animals ahead, almost as a peace offering, asking for his forgiveness. Esau, when he sees his brother, embraces him with love and forgiveness, doesn't even want to accept the peace offering that Jacob had sent before him. WOW. I know people have hurt me before, but here are two men that were able to forgive, embrace, show respect, and move on. When we forgive people, don't just say it, show it. The only true thing that separates Christians from non-believes is our ability to FORGIVE, because God forgives us. He has forgiven me for far worse things than anyone has ever done to me, so why should I hold back and not forgive someone else?
Forgiveness is not optional; its commanded by us through the blood of Christ that we so humbly accept. To not forgive, is to not accept the sacrifice that Christ made for us. I'm not saying that forgiveness is an easy thing that can happen in the matter of minutes; but a Christian heart is about action, about forgiving, about seeking to show others the love of Christ no matter what trespasses they have committed against us. Don't let your fallen nature keep you from experiencing God's love, because a hardened heart will only harvest famine. I don't know about you, but I was created to eat more than the dust of this earth, but to have life abundantly.
In short.
Forgive; so you can LIVE.
For me this distance has been caused by a lack of forgiveness in my heart. It's funny because I have been praying and seeking to give forgiveness for a while now. Often times our eagerness hits the battlefield before we are equipped, or even prepared to yield our sword when it comes to time of action, battle. I think I sat back on my knees praying for God to defeat my enemies for me- battles were not won without action, men had to step out in faith and fight for what they believed in with the conviction of God inside motivating them. Conviction for forgiveness isn't enough.
I find myself at a crossroads; where obviously our human nature LOVES holding on to hurt and anger, it fortifies us, makes us stronger, impenetrable, while offering forgiveness makes us very vulnerable, and some perceive it as a weakness. I spent quite a bit of time tonight praying that God remove those feelings from me, give me the desire and strength to forgive, because ultimately, its only keeping me from feeling God's love in my heart, and I HATE IT!
Genesis chapter 33 tells about the reunion between Jacob and Esau. Earlier Jacob had tricked their father Isaac into giving him Esau's birthright. Jacob then flees for his life because Esau has made a verbal commitment that he is going to seek Jacob and kill him! Who wouldn't feel this way?
Jacob begins to feel remorse for robbing his brother of what was suppose to be his; makes things right with God and gets his life back on track. Granted, Jacob got robbed of some things too, where he had to work 14 years to marry Rebecca, because he was tricked the first 7 years.
When Jacob realizes that he is about to meet his brother again, years later, he sends all sorts of animals ahead, almost as a peace offering, asking for his forgiveness. Esau, when he sees his brother, embraces him with love and forgiveness, doesn't even want to accept the peace offering that Jacob had sent before him. WOW. I know people have hurt me before, but here are two men that were able to forgive, embrace, show respect, and move on. When we forgive people, don't just say it, show it. The only true thing that separates Christians from non-believes is our ability to FORGIVE, because God forgives us. He has forgiven me for far worse things than anyone has ever done to me, so why should I hold back and not forgive someone else?
Forgiveness is not optional; its commanded by us through the blood of Christ that we so humbly accept. To not forgive, is to not accept the sacrifice that Christ made for us. I'm not saying that forgiveness is an easy thing that can happen in the matter of minutes; but a Christian heart is about action, about forgiving, about seeking to show others the love of Christ no matter what trespasses they have committed against us. Don't let your fallen nature keep you from experiencing God's love, because a hardened heart will only harvest famine. I don't know about you, but I was created to eat more than the dust of this earth, but to have life abundantly.
In short.
Forgive; so you can LIVE.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Test... Test
Today I was borderline in making a freaking mountain out of a mole hill! I woke up today feeling in a very unmotivated mood; its certainly easy to do that when you don't have a job to wake up and go to. I worked on some music, relaxed a little, relaxed a little more, and finally decided to just get out of the apartment.
Minor annoyance #1;
I try to call Strategic Therapy and Associates to schedule my second interview; however the human resource manager wasn't in, so I left a message. Needless to say I didn't hear back from her today. I found it a bit frustrating because I really want to get my interview scheduled with the thought "the quicker I do, the sooner they could potentially hire me".
Annoyance #2:
As I am driving on 29 North, someone decided that the expressway could use a 2x6, perhaps they didn't think the asphalt was sturdy enough. I know that's just me being bitter, deep breath, I hit. I had no clue what I had run over until I look in the mirror; the car in front of me didn't show any signs that anything was in the road, and it was in a curve. Needless to say, my tire has a groovy knot on the side that is screaming "replace me before I blow!". Thankfully though I made it to my destination safely!
A few other minor things not worth mentioning, but I saw today as just a test of where my heart is. Honestly I had to fight off being a bit angry and bitter; granted it wasn't like I was ready to fly off the handle, but it was a bit discouraging.
The great thing is I ended the day getting some great news from my bank! I am able to extended my car payment so I can skip these next two months, wohoo! Just a reminder for people to keep a positive attitude even during the difficult times because there will always be some great news awaiting you around the corner!
Well, after a good dinner, nice chat with my dad on the phone, I think it's time to go shoot some pool with David. Oh yeah, and turns out I get to work tomorrow! God is good eh :)
Night!
Minor annoyance #1;
I try to call Strategic Therapy and Associates to schedule my second interview; however the human resource manager wasn't in, so I left a message. Needless to say I didn't hear back from her today. I found it a bit frustrating because I really want to get my interview scheduled with the thought "the quicker I do, the sooner they could potentially hire me".
Annoyance #2:
As I am driving on 29 North, someone decided that the expressway could use a 2x6, perhaps they didn't think the asphalt was sturdy enough. I know that's just me being bitter, deep breath, I hit. I had no clue what I had run over until I look in the mirror; the car in front of me didn't show any signs that anything was in the road, and it was in a curve. Needless to say, my tire has a groovy knot on the side that is screaming "replace me before I blow!". Thankfully though I made it to my destination safely!
A few other minor things not worth mentioning, but I saw today as just a test of where my heart is. Honestly I had to fight off being a bit angry and bitter; granted it wasn't like I was ready to fly off the handle, but it was a bit discouraging.
The great thing is I ended the day getting some great news from my bank! I am able to extended my car payment so I can skip these next two months, wohoo! Just a reminder for people to keep a positive attitude even during the difficult times because there will always be some great news awaiting you around the corner!
Well, after a good dinner, nice chat with my dad on the phone, I think it's time to go shoot some pool with David. Oh yeah, and turns out I get to work tomorrow! God is good eh :)
Night!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Book of Eli: God's Holy Hand In an Unholy Time
I rented the movie The Book of Eli, staring Denzel Washington, and found the movie to be rather deep in nature. The movie certainly aroused quite a few ideas in my head that I felt I needed to jot down. The brief section below is cut and pasted directly from IMBD.com, figured it would save my the hassle of regergitating anything.
In a violent post-apocalyptic society, the drifter Eli has been wandering to west across North America for the last thirty years reading a unique book that he brings with him. He survives hunting small animals and seeking goods in destroyed houses and vehicles to trade in villages for water and supplies. When he reaches the village ruled by the powerful mobster Carnegie, the man offers a job to Eli to join his gang. Carnegie presses his blind lover Claudia to send her daughter Solara to convince Eli spending the night with him. The girl sees the book of Eli, and when Carnegie beats up on Claudia, she reveals that Eli has the sought book. Carnegie sends his gang to take the book from Eli, but the man is up for protecting the book with his life. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil ~ IMDB.com
Since the earth has fallen to ruins by this point, no electricity, running water, scarce food; reflecting 3rd world living conditions, this man, Carnegie, is determined to find "The Book". This special book is the Bible. Through dialogue it is reveal that a great war had taken place to destory all of the bibles, apparently one in particular had survived, which had come into the possession of Eli.
My First Point:
What if we all had the passion to seek God's word, as if it were literally our only hope for survival?
Carnegie runs his own town; obviously the most wealthy and powerful man in the movie. However, he recongizes a need for the Bible, and has a gang of goons that go around searching for this book; however they end up killing and even raping people in search of it. Carnegie sees the bible as a way of obtaining power, by essentially offering people hope, manipulating the Truth, in hopes of brainwashing people into being obedient to him. Many times people seek a relationship with God in hopes of obtaining power or influence over people; only the Holy Spirit has that kind of power, not you, so get over it.
It just makes me question how fervently we truly seek to know God. These people who had nothing were in constant search of him, while the one man that had the knowledge, knew him, guarded it with his life. Eli later comes to realize that by him guarding the Truth with all his heart and life, that he failed to share it with others. God in Genesis, before there was sin, recongized that it was not good for man to be alone, even God created us for fellowship with him. So whether you are looking to misuse your Faith, or not share it at all, it still falls on the same line of injustice.
Point #2
God uses our weaknesses, as well as the unexpected, for his plan.
So Eli is guarding this book, has been for 30 years now. Towards the end of the movie in an effort to save a young woman's life, he reveals the location of the book, only to be shot afterwards (yet he lives). Eli's calling was to take this book and travel westward out of faith, to reach Alcatraz and relinquish it there.
When Carnegie gets home with the book and has his locksmith open it, he finds himself in complete shock. The book is in braille. It turns out that Eli can't even read! But God saw that there would be a book, designed specifically for what Eli could do, to perserve the Truth, hidden in a way that no one else would recongize or understand! So no matter what your weakness are, God designed those weakness to later bring him Glory, that I promise you!
Point # 3
Understanding God takes the Holy Spirit
When our hearts are not filled with the Holy Spirit, we might as well be trying to read braille when we open up his word. The words of truth and wisdom are not understood by those that do not pray for wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit. I think this also eludes to how God protects his reputation from being ruined by others. Obviously Satan loves to distort and manipulate the word, but that is only darkness; and when penetrated by the truth, the light, it is quickly revealed.
There are a few other things in the movie that I really liked as well. Apparently the Earth is found in it's present state because of a blast, a light that overwhelmed the earth, blinding some; now everyone has to wear goggles or protective shades (apparently a hole in the ozone layer allows too much light in). I see this from two perspectives; 1) We were never meant to witness God's glory and light in it's fullness on this earth because neither our mind, or eyes, could understand and fully comprehend it without some kind of consequence. or, 2nd) These people had seen the truth, become so sensitive to the light (truth), that they chose to wear goggles to prevent them from experiencing the truest conviction and love of God. Often we try to water God down, make him more loving, but less convicting. You can't have one without the other; it's through his conviction that we see his truest love for us shine. When we view God through tinted shades, we miss the brilliance of who he is, as if we are afraid to admit that God is as awesome as he says he is.
I'll call it quits for tonight, but I'm sure I will be posting further in regards to the movie. It was a good movie, not great, but I saw a lot of spiritual insight that makes me want to grow in my faith, being challenged.
God Bless!
In a violent post-apocalyptic society, the drifter Eli has been wandering to west across North America for the last thirty years reading a unique book that he brings with him. He survives hunting small animals and seeking goods in destroyed houses and vehicles to trade in villages for water and supplies. When he reaches the village ruled by the powerful mobster Carnegie, the man offers a job to Eli to join his gang. Carnegie presses his blind lover Claudia to send her daughter Solara to convince Eli spending the night with him. The girl sees the book of Eli, and when Carnegie beats up on Claudia, she reveals that Eli has the sought book. Carnegie sends his gang to take the book from Eli, but the man is up for protecting the book with his life. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil ~ IMDB.com
Since the earth has fallen to ruins by this point, no electricity, running water, scarce food; reflecting 3rd world living conditions, this man, Carnegie, is determined to find "The Book". This special book is the Bible. Through dialogue it is reveal that a great war had taken place to destory all of the bibles, apparently one in particular had survived, which had come into the possession of Eli.
My First Point:
What if we all had the passion to seek God's word, as if it were literally our only hope for survival?
Carnegie runs his own town; obviously the most wealthy and powerful man in the movie. However, he recongizes a need for the Bible, and has a gang of goons that go around searching for this book; however they end up killing and even raping people in search of it. Carnegie sees the bible as a way of obtaining power, by essentially offering people hope, manipulating the Truth, in hopes of brainwashing people into being obedient to him. Many times people seek a relationship with God in hopes of obtaining power or influence over people; only the Holy Spirit has that kind of power, not you, so get over it.
It just makes me question how fervently we truly seek to know God. These people who had nothing were in constant search of him, while the one man that had the knowledge, knew him, guarded it with his life. Eli later comes to realize that by him guarding the Truth with all his heart and life, that he failed to share it with others. God in Genesis, before there was sin, recongized that it was not good for man to be alone, even God created us for fellowship with him. So whether you are looking to misuse your Faith, or not share it at all, it still falls on the same line of injustice.
Point #2
God uses our weaknesses, as well as the unexpected, for his plan.
So Eli is guarding this book, has been for 30 years now. Towards the end of the movie in an effort to save a young woman's life, he reveals the location of the book, only to be shot afterwards (yet he lives). Eli's calling was to take this book and travel westward out of faith, to reach Alcatraz and relinquish it there.
When Carnegie gets home with the book and has his locksmith open it, he finds himself in complete shock. The book is in braille. It turns out that Eli can't even read! But God saw that there would be a book, designed specifically for what Eli could do, to perserve the Truth, hidden in a way that no one else would recongize or understand! So no matter what your weakness are, God designed those weakness to later bring him Glory, that I promise you!
Point # 3
Understanding God takes the Holy Spirit
When our hearts are not filled with the Holy Spirit, we might as well be trying to read braille when we open up his word. The words of truth and wisdom are not understood by those that do not pray for wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit. I think this also eludes to how God protects his reputation from being ruined by others. Obviously Satan loves to distort and manipulate the word, but that is only darkness; and when penetrated by the truth, the light, it is quickly revealed.
There are a few other things in the movie that I really liked as well. Apparently the Earth is found in it's present state because of a blast, a light that overwhelmed the earth, blinding some; now everyone has to wear goggles or protective shades (apparently a hole in the ozone layer allows too much light in). I see this from two perspectives; 1) We were never meant to witness God's glory and light in it's fullness on this earth because neither our mind, or eyes, could understand and fully comprehend it without some kind of consequence. or, 2nd) These people had seen the truth, become so sensitive to the light (truth), that they chose to wear goggles to prevent them from experiencing the truest conviction and love of God. Often we try to water God down, make him more loving, but less convicting. You can't have one without the other; it's through his conviction that we see his truest love for us shine. When we view God through tinted shades, we miss the brilliance of who he is, as if we are afraid to admit that God is as awesome as he says he is.
I'll call it quits for tonight, but I'm sure I will be posting further in regards to the movie. It was a good movie, not great, but I saw a lot of spiritual insight that makes me want to grow in my faith, being challenged.
God Bless!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A Joy that Only Comes From HIM
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips shouts of joy ~ Job 8:21
This verse was found at the bottom of page in my prayer journal for this evening; which hit me like a load of bricks. To reflect on the life that Job was living, to see how everything was taken away from him; his family, home, source of food, even his own health was plagued! Throughout all of this torment, GOD PROMISED to fill his heart with laughter, and his lips with joy. Question is, if God can fill us with these things, where does it truly come from?
After giving this some thought it's obvious; God gives us joy, and laughter. We often think that things in life are suppose to bring us joy; whether it be a job, or home, car, location where we live/vacation, loved one, family, whatever it might be. But God looked at job in the midst of him losing everything saying "believe, and I will fill your mouth with laughter..... and your heart will shout with joy". Job has soo many lessons that we should all be learning from. Yes, at times we all experience a bit of Job's life, but have we really been tested the way he was? I'm thankful that God hasn't sent that my way!!!
When we go through this seasons, seasons of unemployment, broken heartedness, frustration, pain, anger, confusion, whatever it might be, the purpose is God is refining our hearts so we can choose to have his laughter, his joy. It's a purifying experience, where we are allowed to accept him for who he is. I firmly believe, that when we are able to GRASP the TRUTH about who God really is in our lives, that's when hwe allows a seasons to pass over us. Just like I believe God would flood the earth if a plant didn't find a need to drink his rain, out of love, God would make that plant drink. Obviously we could choose to hold our breath, but God knows how to break our stubborness, besides, he created some of us to be stubborn about certain things!
I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed with love these days, thankful for the heart that God has given me; granted its taken a few trips of defibulation!
I would write more, but I need to convince my heart and mind that it's time to sleep! (Instead of day dreaming about what all God is doing in my life, and what he is preparing to do!) There is no greater joy than dreaming of his plan for you! Because then, those dreams are obtainable!
God Bless!
This verse was found at the bottom of page in my prayer journal for this evening; which hit me like a load of bricks. To reflect on the life that Job was living, to see how everything was taken away from him; his family, home, source of food, even his own health was plagued! Throughout all of this torment, GOD PROMISED to fill his heart with laughter, and his lips with joy. Question is, if God can fill us with these things, where does it truly come from?
After giving this some thought it's obvious; God gives us joy, and laughter. We often think that things in life are suppose to bring us joy; whether it be a job, or home, car, location where we live/vacation, loved one, family, whatever it might be. But God looked at job in the midst of him losing everything saying "believe, and I will fill your mouth with laughter..... and your heart will shout with joy". Job has soo many lessons that we should all be learning from. Yes, at times we all experience a bit of Job's life, but have we really been tested the way he was? I'm thankful that God hasn't sent that my way!!!
When we go through this seasons, seasons of unemployment, broken heartedness, frustration, pain, anger, confusion, whatever it might be, the purpose is God is refining our hearts so we can choose to have his laughter, his joy. It's a purifying experience, where we are allowed to accept him for who he is. I firmly believe, that when we are able to GRASP the TRUTH about who God really is in our lives, that's when hwe allows a seasons to pass over us. Just like I believe God would flood the earth if a plant didn't find a need to drink his rain, out of love, God would make that plant drink. Obviously we could choose to hold our breath, but God knows how to break our stubborness, besides, he created some of us to be stubborn about certain things!
I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed with love these days, thankful for the heart that God has given me; granted its taken a few trips of defibulation!
I would write more, but I need to convince my heart and mind that it's time to sleep! (Instead of day dreaming about what all God is doing in my life, and what he is preparing to do!) There is no greater joy than dreaming of his plan for you! Because then, those dreams are obtainable!
God Bless!
Friday, July 9, 2010
New song, New Phase, New starts
Its getting harder to see, harder to leave, when my legs have been broken
Its getting harder to breathe, harder to bleed, when my heart's been broken.
That's a chorus to a song that hit me last week, the first time words actually came to me before the music did! I spent some time recording it, so far, I'm pretty pleased with the direction it is taking!
Anyway, so I took off for a few days up to Richmond to visit my dad, help out around the house, and thoroughly abuse his musical equipment haha. It was nice to spend some time with him, even though I had a lot going on with me emotionally there; stuff that I don't think I really worked through today until I expressed it through some music.
While I was there I helped him clean out his gutters, which required climbing eh approx 25 foot ladder, atleast I'm thinking it had to be that high, essentially three stories. At first I was soo nervous, shaky legged, praying the entire time I was climbing up! However, i realize a truth about me, and about many people while I was up there....
1) I am typically uncomfortable with new experiences; but I tend to adapt and get comfortable quickly; at times too quickly (for those that disagree with me, I'm sure you do, correct me if I am wrong!). Whether I'm running a bull dozer, excavator, or a new job, whatever, I get comfortable too quickly. In one sense it's a good thing because I think God can really use me with my ability to be flexible, yet, I didn't pray the 3rd time I climbed that ladder.
2)When scared, we pray to God, but once comfortable we rely on our previous experiences, or trust in the ladder we just climbed. Wow. I want to be someone that prays to God for protection every time! Because I need him every time! i never want to take for granted his protection and his guiding hand in my life. So I challenge you to not trust what you are comfortable with, or your past experiences, but give everything to God, let him be the one that provides and takes care of you.
My buddy Josh wrote a book called God Attachment, check it out, its being published and released in August. I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty certain that it would discuss similar instances, where we try to deny our attachment to God.
I also realized that God, he listens to my prayers! So many prayers are beginning to show fruit and I tell you, it's amazing! Tonight I pray that God continues to refine my heart to be the man that he has called me to be, so I can make myself suitable for his blessings. I am no good on my own; I'm broken, fallen, and so self absorbed. But with him I become a thriving human being that just soaks in his love daily, which allows me to pour into sooo many other people.
Tonight I got back and did some more work around Josh's, got roped into having dinner with him and his wife, and two of her friends. Hearing all the talk I just really feel that God is grooming me for something really amazing. I don't know exactly what it is, but I do know this, when God sees I am ready and armed, he's gonna launch me!
God Bless and remember, he hears our prayers, he may not answer them as fast as we would like, but he hears us and knows our hearts!
It's a good day to believe in something bigger than me :)
Its getting harder to breathe, harder to bleed, when my heart's been broken.
That's a chorus to a song that hit me last week, the first time words actually came to me before the music did! I spent some time recording it, so far, I'm pretty pleased with the direction it is taking!
Anyway, so I took off for a few days up to Richmond to visit my dad, help out around the house, and thoroughly abuse his musical equipment haha. It was nice to spend some time with him, even though I had a lot going on with me emotionally there; stuff that I don't think I really worked through today until I expressed it through some music.
While I was there I helped him clean out his gutters, which required climbing eh approx 25 foot ladder, atleast I'm thinking it had to be that high, essentially three stories. At first I was soo nervous, shaky legged, praying the entire time I was climbing up! However, i realize a truth about me, and about many people while I was up there....
1) I am typically uncomfortable with new experiences; but I tend to adapt and get comfortable quickly; at times too quickly (for those that disagree with me, I'm sure you do, correct me if I am wrong!). Whether I'm running a bull dozer, excavator, or a new job, whatever, I get comfortable too quickly. In one sense it's a good thing because I think God can really use me with my ability to be flexible, yet, I didn't pray the 3rd time I climbed that ladder.
2)When scared, we pray to God, but once comfortable we rely on our previous experiences, or trust in the ladder we just climbed. Wow. I want to be someone that prays to God for protection every time! Because I need him every time! i never want to take for granted his protection and his guiding hand in my life. So I challenge you to not trust what you are comfortable with, or your past experiences, but give everything to God, let him be the one that provides and takes care of you.
My buddy Josh wrote a book called God Attachment, check it out, its being published and released in August. I haven't read it yet, but I'm pretty certain that it would discuss similar instances, where we try to deny our attachment to God.
I also realized that God, he listens to my prayers! So many prayers are beginning to show fruit and I tell you, it's amazing! Tonight I pray that God continues to refine my heart to be the man that he has called me to be, so I can make myself suitable for his blessings. I am no good on my own; I'm broken, fallen, and so self absorbed. But with him I become a thriving human being that just soaks in his love daily, which allows me to pour into sooo many other people.
Tonight I got back and did some more work around Josh's, got roped into having dinner with him and his wife, and two of her friends. Hearing all the talk I just really feel that God is grooming me for something really amazing. I don't know exactly what it is, but I do know this, when God sees I am ready and armed, he's gonna launch me!
God Bless and remember, he hears our prayers, he may not answer them as fast as we would like, but he hears us and knows our hearts!
It's a good day to believe in something bigger than me :)
Friday, July 2, 2010
Spiritual Maturity; Isn't Measure By Strength
The past couple of months have certainly been a growing experience for me. Once we feel we have begun to hit that plateau of knowledge, God finds a clever way of humbling us, yet again. I find myself overcoming one challenge, to find myself at the foothills of yet another one.
Jerry Falwell always said "Either you just came out of something, going through something, or about to go into something". Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm writing today, just a shade over 2 months of being unemployed. Of course I have been able to do some work here and there, but nothing called permenant. This entire time I have been saying "God I trust you", believing it to my core, but lately I have found myself feeling a bit more "rocked". I really felt convicted the other night while doing my devotions, where Abrahm and Sarai could not have a child. They take matters into their OWN hands, even after God had promised them they would be the Father of many nations; only to have a son named Ishmael out of wedlock; and to be cursed.
I have been pushing, trying to knock down doors for a job (basically seeking work anywhere), and I remembed God telling me where he wanted to place me; Liberty University. I firmly believe that, but I just lost focus and was going every which direction frantically trying to make things work. I even took an interview in Danville, Va, hoping to find a job. I realized this week that I am not spiritually mature enough to handle working there. No offense to my grandparents, they are wonderful! But I know that satan would have his way with me while I was there, I would be so ungrounded, having nothing to hold me accountable. I would have to turn down that position because I know, God knows, I am not strong enough to do that. I have worked out of town before and it is TOUGH.
On top of that, God had to convict me of some behaviors I have chosen as of late. Trying to deal with moving on, relationship-wise, I started to meet new people, date. Wow. Only to realize that my heart isn't going to budge right now. All these people that I will try to hang out with, they will want more, more that I can't give. So, in one girl's eyes I am now an "ass", because I can't lead her on. It's not that I don't want to move on, but I realize that I can't make my loneliness a problem for others. I can't be selfish. I am amazed that God gave me that conviction and the strength to actually follow through with it!
Just a word of caution; there are no such thing as casual friendships or dating, or whatever. Emotions get invovled, fast. You will only end up either breaking someones heart, breaking your own, or getting into a relationship with someone that you wish NEVER happened. You can but a band aid on the wound, but that only traps the infection inside, which will spread......
I am really excited about the great things that God has in store for me this summer! I just have to keep my eyes on him and really seek after the things that he has spoken to me. When God speaks, don't forget his promises, because when you try doing it on your own, you only find yourself more broken and confused than you were in the first place!
Jerry Falwell always said "Either you just came out of something, going through something, or about to go into something". Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm writing today, just a shade over 2 months of being unemployed. Of course I have been able to do some work here and there, but nothing called permenant. This entire time I have been saying "God I trust you", believing it to my core, but lately I have found myself feeling a bit more "rocked". I really felt convicted the other night while doing my devotions, where Abrahm and Sarai could not have a child. They take matters into their OWN hands, even after God had promised them they would be the Father of many nations; only to have a son named Ishmael out of wedlock; and to be cursed.
I have been pushing, trying to knock down doors for a job (basically seeking work anywhere), and I remembed God telling me where he wanted to place me; Liberty University. I firmly believe that, but I just lost focus and was going every which direction frantically trying to make things work. I even took an interview in Danville, Va, hoping to find a job. I realized this week that I am not spiritually mature enough to handle working there. No offense to my grandparents, they are wonderful! But I know that satan would have his way with me while I was there, I would be so ungrounded, having nothing to hold me accountable. I would have to turn down that position because I know, God knows, I am not strong enough to do that. I have worked out of town before and it is TOUGH.
On top of that, God had to convict me of some behaviors I have chosen as of late. Trying to deal with moving on, relationship-wise, I started to meet new people, date. Wow. Only to realize that my heart isn't going to budge right now. All these people that I will try to hang out with, they will want more, more that I can't give. So, in one girl's eyes I am now an "ass", because I can't lead her on. It's not that I don't want to move on, but I realize that I can't make my loneliness a problem for others. I can't be selfish. I am amazed that God gave me that conviction and the strength to actually follow through with it!
Just a word of caution; there are no such thing as casual friendships or dating, or whatever. Emotions get invovled, fast. You will only end up either breaking someones heart, breaking your own, or getting into a relationship with someone that you wish NEVER happened. You can but a band aid on the wound, but that only traps the infection inside, which will spread......
I am really excited about the great things that God has in store for me this summer! I just have to keep my eyes on him and really seek after the things that he has spoken to me. When God speaks, don't forget his promises, because when you try doing it on your own, you only find yourself more broken and confused than you were in the first place!
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